A friend, let us call him Mushy, defines a sport as any activity that cannot be accomplished while smoking or wearing slacks. As a definition, this leaves something to be desired since clearly Synchronised Swimming is not a sport despite being a bit difficult to do while smoking or wearing slacks. Even in the office.
The obvious Third Law of What Constitutes A Sport is that it has a clear result without resorting to subjective judgement. This neatly excludes Synchronised Swimming, Ice Skating, Ballroom Dancing and Ski Jumping so we are onto a winner.
Until now.
News has just reached me of a sport that cannot be practised while smoking and the wearing of slacks is prohibited by its Laws. Moreover, it has a clear winner: everybody.
I cannot decide whether this means Western society has now reached the acme of its achievements, or whether perhaps this is a clear sign that we are in a decadent spiral of decline. Here come the Goths!